Miniature Stories At Most 54 Words Long
by L. J. Patrick (c) Feb 11th 2003
Second Chance

"It worked! I'm young again!" shouted Susan.
"Sit!" chided the teacher, distributing papers.
"Mental age 56, physical age approximately 14," Susan thought. "Pity my new life begins during an exam on..."
"Something wrong, Anderson?"
Susan shook her head, suppressing a moan as an intense, familiar ache gripped her abdomen.
"Great. I'm young again."


King Arthur lay dying. Bedevere prepared to throw Excalibur in the lake.
"Excuse me. What are you doing?"
Bedevere faced an old, wrinkly man.
"Returning this great sword to its maker, as must Arthur go now to his."
"I collect antiques... How much?"
"What? I couldn't possibly!"
"400 crowns?"
Bedevere looked both ways.

Business School

"Two classic ways to create a business," said the lecturer. "Monopolise resources, such as gold, land, technology. Or exploit people, employees or customers."
George listened; he patented the human brain. If anyone anywhere had a new idea, George wanted a cut. He sued every university and business for patent infringement (except the TV stations).

Genetic Evidence

They arrested William Wallace at his home. He went quietly. At trial, the genetic evidence was incontravertible.
"You deny being there?"
"You deny murdering her?"
They sentenced him. One day after the execution, the genetics expert witness realised his mistake. "All Scottish men have that gene sequence!" He never published those findings.

Dead Head

"Microwave scanners reconstruct synapses inside supercomputers," Professor Zymbal explained.
Agent Carlsten frowned. "Didn't the blast damage...?"
Zymbal interjected, "We've analysed suicide bombers' heads before. Microwaves are lethal, but accurate. Simulated brains recognise images, sounds. We'll discover the cell leader's identity."
Carlsten paced for hours.
Zymbal arrived with guards. "Arrest him!"
Carlsten smiled, before exploding.

Video Club

Johnny forged labels to swap videos at the store without anyone realising. First, he swapped "Rambo" with "Dumbo". Then he exchanged "American Beauty" with "American Pie". Finally, he swapped the remake of "Planet of the Apes" with a video of himself snoring. They caught him. "How could you tell I'd changed anything?" he asked.