Venus de Milo had a desperate need to see the David, tonight. At 3am she searched. The Louvre's heat sensors never saw her. When Venus found him, Mona Lisa looked on with a mixture of amusement and disdain. "Drapes falling off again?" David asked. "No, um, this time could you please pick my nose?"

"Not another mosquito!" exclaimed Gene, the genetic engineer. It was the third one that night, and once again it vanished as soon as he activated the light. Deciding he couldn't sleep, he paced in his laboratory. Suddenly he had an idea. Glow in the dark mosquitos! He bought a large fly-swat the next day.

Donald purchased a flashing blue light for his car. Initially, he only pulled over young women. Soon he was cautioning families and businessmen. When he accidentally stopped two undercover police officers on the M2, they threw the book at him. Only after they ran to their car, laughing, did he realise he'd been duped.

"I love you!" screamed Trinity, as Matrix killer-bots destroyed the underground city. Neo realised the Matrix had viewed the ship's interior, synthesised his revival and subsequent journey, everything. "It's unreal!" he thought. The city shimmered. A cell. "I'm Captain Christopher Pike," he realised. He concentrated; the cell shimmered. Phew! It was only a story.

When the Dinosaurs returned to Earth, the most surprising thing wasn't their simultaneous arrival in millions of spacecraft. It was their behaviour. Scientists worked to establish communication, but they only seemed interested in one thing. Finally, a message was understood. "Every 65 million years we return to Earth, our breeding ground," the Dinosaurs said.

Andrew finished tagging a homing pigeon's leg. Suddenly he was levitated into a spaceship. Helplessly, he watched as grey beings probed him with strange instruments. Although their lips didn't move, he understood them. "No tag," said one. "Tag it," replied another. Awaking in a corn field with a new filling, he went straight home.

"When did you first notice these symptoms?"
"Sunday."
"Were you bitten by a mosquito recently by any chance?"
"Last week actually, doctor... how did you know?"
"It's rare, but we're seeing more and more cases. You've contracted glow-in-the-dark virus."
"Any cure?"
"No."
"What will I do?"
The doctor shrugged.
"Become a cinema usher?"